You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Im part way to drunk.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
