yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
