question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
