i will never coherently bang her
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Your penis caused this!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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