I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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