How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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