This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Let's paint friendship bongs
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
