she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize