So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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