and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize