hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
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