THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize