fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
