He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
