I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
