Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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