I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
