thus making me awesome and them whores
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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