He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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