Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize