I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you win again, gameday.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
