Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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