All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
