He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
