i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
