I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
