I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
