i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize