After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
