So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
