This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
