whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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