Me too!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
two words: eviction party
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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