Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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