i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
there's paper in my vomit.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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