i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
