I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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