So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
