there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
