Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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