"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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