It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
