yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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