So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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