Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
