So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
