Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
