I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
