She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
