You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
They should really pass out barf bags in church
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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