I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
ok first of all what the fuck
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize