he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize