Already got asked if we're dating
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
