Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
