Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
