C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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