I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
