Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
