no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
As shirtless as possible
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
