You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
