I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize