That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
