we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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